My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
