and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
