What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
