end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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