i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
