Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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