If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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