About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just had sex bonerless
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize