white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
