Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
