If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
