You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
