I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sext me about skeletons
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize