I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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