party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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