you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
