All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
