Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Blood and glitter go together right?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
