I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
