The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
