thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
