The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
