She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
