I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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