Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
