remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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