Kiss
Puke
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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