just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
