I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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