people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
