your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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