It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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