We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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