i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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