Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
