spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
