Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
