In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
