drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
