it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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