Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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