White coat. Heels.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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