My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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