id be glad to
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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