I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
wat bout pragnant strippers??
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just want nice things and good sex
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
