yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
