WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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