When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize