Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
