I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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