the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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