Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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