I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
