so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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