And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
