when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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