She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
