is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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