When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
