He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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